The Selfish Act of Giving

By and large I have lived a decent life. As I approach seventy years of age (I just turned 68, a couple of years to go) I look back and find that I have one huge regret about the way I have lived. Most simply put, I did not give enough time to my children in their formative years. Instead my holy grail was the making of money and I rationalized my conduct by telling myself that I was being a good father by providing ample financial security to my family. Today I watch how my three sons-in-law serve as fathers to their kids and marvel at the gift of time they give. At dinner time, my grand kids are encouraged to speak and talk about their day or whatever they want to talk about. When I was a kid, the rule at the table was "Children should be seen and not heard." My brother and I ate silently and watched my father read the newspaper day after day for many years. Through the grace and love and patience of my wife, as well as the examples set by my three daughters and their husbands, I have slowly modified my conduct over the years so that I now participate somewhat actively in the lives of my grandchildren. I have attended softball games, baseball games, band concerts, soccer games, fencing matches, Christmas and spring pageants, football games, piano recitals, rowing regattas and tennis matches, not to mention the occasional piano, french horn or golf lesson. What I have learned is that the giving of time brings back to me the even greater gift of joy. What a lesson; I ultimately receive more than I give.

I Couldn't Have Said It Nearly As Well

Susan Pearce is a good friend who shares ideas with me regularly. She sent me this e-mail recently and I asked for her permission to put it here, because, quite frankly, it captures the way I feel but I couldn't have said it anywhere nearly as well. Thanks Susan:

I think I've finally slept off my election campaign hangover and can speak coherently.

It has been an exhausting campaign with plenty of highs and lows. Most of us Democrats couldn't believe, right up until the last moment, that we were actually going to win this one. It's been a long time since we have had cause to celebrate! But I think Barack Obama is going to be a great President. It's as if his very election, 76 days before he has even been inaugurated, has already changed the attitude of the country and the world. Have you ever seen such crowds and exuberation after an election? Truly amazing.

One of my big hopes was something that is already happening: the positive reaction from the rest of the world. It gives the rest of the world a chance to push the "Reset" button and give us another chance to live up to the ideals that we've never stopped espousing, but which too often we stopped exemplifying.

Of course, now he bears the weight of almost unprecedented expectations, and he is going to have to perform. Not the least of his problems is going to be to get Congress to transcend their ingrained, petty political thinking and actually see themselves as public servants instead of priviledged royalty. Barack actually means what he has said about needing to work together to find common ground, the need for individual sacrifice, and that we are at just the beginning of a long, steep climb. But most of them have lived their lives making politically expedient, empty promises, and being expected to actually fulfill them is going to be a quite a shock.

One thing that has bothered me is that it seemed like the minute the election results were announced, the media went into overdrive, talking about the significance of electing our first black President. Excuse me, but Obama never ran on race. He never used the Al Sharpton/Jesse Jackson rhetoric of division. He said, "Look at me, look at what I believe, look at what I think we need to do about our economy, our foreign policy, our energy and environmental crises." So why is his election suddenly all about his race, instead of a mandate for the policies he articulated?

I believe that one consequence of his election will be to advance race relations in many ways--breaking negative racial stereotypes about black men and black families that whites may hold, and being a positive role model and offering hope for blacks and other minorities that, if you get an education and work hard, you can achieve the American Dream.

I read a quote this morning from a young black man that said, in effect, that Obama's election meant that "maybe whites aren't as prejudiced as we thought they were." If Barack's election means that blacks and whites are going to have to reexamine their conscious and unconscious prejudices, that will be fantastic.

But it won't be enough. Obama isn't going to be judged as "a great President--for a black guy." Or, "better than the last white guy." He's going to be judged by what he does or does not accomplish. Period.

I don't mean to diminish or trivialize Obama's transcendence of racial attitudes. But do you know who I think has done that to a much greater degree, at this point? Tiger Woods. Don't laugh! When Tiger first turned pro in an almost exclusively white man's sport, his race was a big deal. It was pointed out that he would be playing at clubs he couldn't belong to. When he began to win a lot of tournaments, I heard a lot of comments and jokes that boiled down to, "He's a bit 'uppity,' isn't he?" But his dominance --his excellence--over the past 10 years has transcended that. Who do you now hear saying, "Tiger Woods is the greatest black golfer of all time?" You may still hear someone argue that Jones or Hogan or Nicklaus was better overall, but the racial adjective has disappeared.

As with Tiger Woods, I think that the miracle of this election is not that this country has suddenly transcended its racial divisions--that's way too much to expect. But it does prove that an exceptional individual can make people see beyond race. The epitome of Martin Luther King's dream was that we would reach a time when a man was judged by the content of his character rather than the color of his skin. We've made a start at that.

But Obama's dream is unity at all levels? Remember ". . .We don't live in a black America or a white America . . . a Blue America or a Red America . . . we live in the United States of America. . ."

Maybe the question is not whether Obama can live up to our expectations. Maybe the question is, "Can we live up to his?"

Susan

Poles Apart

The talk shows, newspapers and talk among some small groups of people bring a feeling of freshness, hope and optimism as a result of the election of Obama. It is though a veil of depression has lifted across the nation as a new spirit invades the land; the major impetus beyond that spirit being the recognition that we must get along with others, particularly those with whom we disagree. In politics, that spirit is referred to as bipartisanship. Politically, what it boils down to is this; It means doing the right things for the right reasons, rather than allowing moneyed interests control the agendas and outcomes. The polarized society that was carefully nurtured and fed by right wing zealots masquerading as talk show hosts is going to be a thing of the past. Right?

But wait. This morning I awoke to news that the word "Obama" has been banned in certain Mississippi schools. Kids are sent home from school if they say the word aloud or wear a tee shirt that carries the name. The one polling result that intrigued me most during the pre-election race was that finding that 23-25% of all likely voters in Texas believe that Obama is a Muslim. A conservative friend of mine sent me an e-mail yesterday that contains (in part) the following sentiments

"I just do not trust this man. And especially after the unbelievable public adulation--just like all the charismatic leaders that pressed socialism on the people. People in Germany placed their trust in the National Socialists, same in Russia, Cuba, now Venezuela--all the little banana republic countries-- when the people rise up against their oppressors and freely elect a socialist--who then amasses such power that it is impossible to stop their grandiose pursuit of absolute power. They eventually strip the people of their rights, starting with gun control, then control of the press, etc.

"It is scary to see that beginning on election day, sales of assault weapons rose dramatically and continue. Tom, people are really frightened, and the press has done nothing to show us they have done the job of vetting Obama. They ignore these issues."

I honestly do not know how to respond to these dispiriting thoughts. If a substantial minority in our society harbor these beliefs how will the people of this country ever connect with each other for the advancement of the public good? My belief system is such that the U.S. Constitution holds the answers for all Americans. Namely, that we are a nation of laws, not men. One of the major reasons for the current euphoria is that we have cast out the current group which has run our nation the past eight years because they and their fellow travelers (Palin as an example) systematically attempted to dismantle or ignore the fundamental principles of the law as established by that constitution. Those of us who revere the law welcome the fresh new approach that Obama brings and the strength of our convictions includes the knowledge that if he, like the Nameless One he will replace, attempts to disregard the basic law of our nation, he too will be cast aside in an ensuing election. For now, though, he deserves and needs our prayers and cooperation in getting this nation back on track.

An Apology Is In Order

In a recent posting (Ups and Downs and . . .-Oct. 30, 2008) I wrote, in part, the following: If four years from now finds us in the throes of Democratic greed and mistakes resulting from the tendency to take unchecked power and turn planned good deeds into excesses like pigs eating at a trough, then all will have been for naught. I, for one, will be content if the lesson of 2008 restores the country to civility, moderation in all things and charitable thoughts to all, including those son of a bitches who still think Bush is the nearest thing to Jesus. Oops, there I go again, being a jerk.

A thoughtful friend has responded and takes exception to being characterized as a 'son of a bitch' and after reading his response, rightly so. I apologize to him as well as to others who may have taken umbrage at my characterization. In so doing, I must point out that my poor attempt at humor was not only in bad taste, but was counter to the very point that I was trying to make; i.e., civility with free exchange of ideas is at the very heart of the American ideal of ffeedom of expression.

Let's Not Make It a Quick Honeymoon

The assumption of the presidency by Barack Obama begins in the middle of a lot of things that are ongoing, some of it not so well. The best analogy I can think up is that his role for an indeterminate period of time will be akin to the relief pitcher who is asked to salvage a game that has been badly botched by the starting pitcher through eight innings (years). The manager (the public) had an opportunity to replace the starting pitcher after the fourth inning, but declined to do so. Now, the very least Obama deserves is a reasonable period of time to turn things around. It must be remembered that he is not a magician and that many of the things that reflect poorly on America were done by choice of the ideologues currently running the country. If the current euphoria turns too quickly to boos, or if those on the other side of the aisle want to stir up trouble for political reasons, the honeymoon will be short lived to the detriment of the country. Obama needs our support and he needs us to be patient as he unravels the mess he has been handed. The corrections cannot and will not be done overnight. His campaign has been built on the optimism of the American people and that public is notoriously impatient with things that do not provide instant gratification. We must all resist this tendency and cut the guy some slack. The future of our country is at stake and we would do well to allow our new president to proceed in the same calm and methodical manner that epitomized his campaign.

Ode to Katie Couric

Thanks to Katie
I must say
because without her
we may not have this day
What she did was
what she was supposed to;
She asked a question or two
of Palin you see.
Easy questions, even for you and me.
About Russia we learned
one could see from Alaska
and that was all it takes
to make one an expert
(of the self-claimed variety)
in international affairs.
As a result of those questions,
we, the public, properly assessed
the depth and character and
the claims, no less, of the person
chosen to be a heart beat tick
from controlling our national destiny.
So thanks to Katie Couric.

Craziness

Like most of us, I am suffering from pre-election fatigue. It is difficult to think about it, talk about it, not to mention write about it. One of the e-mail requests for funds I received from a GOP Senator this week (Yes, I signed up with both parties to keep track of what the insiders were saying) claimed that if Obama was elected he would establish censorship of conservative talk radio. Wow! I didn't know that and I bet nobody else does either. In the late afternoons it is my practice to listen to Sean Hannity on the radio when I am in my car. Listening to Hannity spout on any topic, I have concluded that he would probably be one of the targets of alleged censorship. Just yesterday, Halloween, Hannity enlightened me by claiming that the holiday was a liberal holiday. In fact he claimed it was the most liberal holiday of all. His argument was that the entire purpose of the holiday was to teach kids that they could learn to expect to get something for nothing. Huh? I almost wet my pants laughing (thank God for Flomax), but then I realized the guy was serious. I wonder how he feels about birthday gifts, hidden Easter baskets and Christmas giving. Are these communist plots? Is someone who drops a few bucks into a Salvation Army kettle during the holidays a socialist? Hannity doesn't need censorship; he needs a strait jacket.