Sunday, May 3, 2009

Pick Me. Pick Me

Dear President Obama: I hereby submit my application so that you may consider appointing me to the Supreme Court of the United States. I know, I know, You may never had heard of me and your first question may be whether or not I have had any experience as a judge (none whatsoever, a big plus rather than a minus.) I will resist telling you that I, too, once had a dog named Bo who was as cute as yours. I don't believe its proper to do such a thing to simply try to ingratiate myself to influence your choosing me. Why you should pick me is, simply put, I have no political affiliation or credentials to weigh down the selection process, but I do have tons of experience in representing the small guy or gal in American life. On more than one occasion I have actively represented persons whose constitutional rights were being damaged by governmental entities and have done so pro bono without any attempt to blow my own horn about it. I know the difference between right and wrong and some of this knowledge was acquired by, what might be said, on the job training. Most of all, I respect the principles enunciated so clearly in the Constitution of the United States. As a lawyer of thirty five years, I have never lost sight of the commitment I made when I took the oath to practice law, i.e., to support and defend the Constitution. I have never donated money to a judge's campaign and on one occasion I have donated money to a Senator's campaign. (I later asked for it back.) If you appoint me, I promise to resign shortly before you end your second term as president so you can appoint someone else. By then I'll be 76 years old. Also, I will work for free. I guarantee that any paycheck that is given to me will be returned unsigned and unopened to the U.S. Treasury. I look forward to discussing my credentials with you privately and while I would not relish public exposure, my stories about my grandchildren will surely be well received throughout the country. Sincerely, Tom Bleakley

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