Friday, October 4, 2013

Interview with Kamikaze Tea Party Congressman

I was fortunate to schedule some time to interview one of the forty kamikaze Tea Party members who are currently holding the economic future of the United States hostage.  For reasons known only to him, he refused to allow me to reveal his identity.  I have excerpted a few of his responses for sake of brevity:

The actions of you and about forty other members of Congress have placed the economic status of the United States in jeopardy. Why don’t you negotiate with your own party members to deal with this problem?

It isn’t us that refuses to negotiate.  It is Barack Obama.

Representative Devin Nunes, Republican of California said, “It’s moronic to shut down the government over this.”  I will repeat my previous question in light of his statement;  Why don’t you negotiate with your own party members to accomplish something worthwhile?

We are accomplishing something worthwhile.

And just what is that?

We are proving that the people of America can act for themselves, government be damned.

Excuse me, but I thought you were a member of Congress.

Yes I am, but I was elected by the people.

Speaking of elections, do you receive political donations money from the Koch brothers?

Next question.   But last time I checked the Koch brothers were citizens of the United States and have the same first amendment rights that all citizens do.

You refuse to answer that?

What part of next question don’t you understand?

Another Republican, Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah calls your actions a “stupid dumb-ass thing.”  What is your response to that?

It sounds to me that it was a stupid dumb-ass thing to say.  I can’t imagine an elected official using such terrible language.  And that Hatch is from Utah.  The son of a bitch is dumber than I thought he was.

Why don’t you want to identify yourself for this interview?

Because it doesn’t matter who I am.  I speak for the people.

Why are you doing this to the people of the United States?

Because we can.

Just saying . . .

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